A Look Inside The Mind of a Conservative F***tard

Over the last month or so, I've received at least thirty e-mails from someone who is apparently a cousin of mine. This particular fellow also happens to be a right-wing conservative dingbat. My first impulse was to respond to his idiotic e-mails, but I thought better of it, as engaging him is probably exactly what he wanted. However, while I have decided not to respond to him directly, that hasn't stopped me from being particularly pissed off about some of his e-mails. So, in order for me to vent, I present to you his most recent offering:

This message is to help those liberals who are at a loss at being called un-American, or who can't even comprehend any liberal being called anti-American. So with that said, below is a brief questionnaire to enable liberals to grasp this seemingly undeserved title. Be sure to answer all the questions honestly, and surely any liberal taken participating will be enlightened!

Why are liberals sometimes considered un-American?

1. Who is most likely to stomp on an American flag?
a. A liberal
b. A conservative
2. Who is most likely to burn an American flag?
a. A conservative
b. A liberal
3. Who is most likely not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance as an act of defiance.
a. A liberal
b. A conservative
4. Who is most likely not to place their hand over their heart during a rendition of the National Anthem.
a. A conservative
b. A liberal
5. Who is most likely to file a lawsuit to have any vestige of God removed from the Pledge of Allegiance or for that matter from any American institution, money, monuments or any other governmental building.
a. A liberal
b. A conservative

There that wasn't so hard. Some liberals will react to this with rancor, and cry foul claiming that it is narrow minded, misleading and twisting the truth. However that will just reinforce that they are missing the point. If moderate liberals ever want to get out from under the anti-American tag that they deem unworthy, then they need to extricate themselves from any alliance with the far left. Moderate liberals have accepted this alliance to strengthen their position and realize their political aspirations. However what they didn't realize was that they are ultimately being swallowed whole.

Here's my challenge to liberals. Come up with you own list of five anti-American questions that paint conservatives black.

I think a funny thing would be if I were to accidentally let slip that my idiot cousin's e-mail address is tturowski@gmail.com, and then my friends were to anonymously fill up his inbox with anti-American liberal propaganda.